Perceptions

My father just recently published a fiction book called Trial of Billy Ranhalt which tells about a disable veteran who returns home. It was very interesting reading it from the perspective of the soldier. I grew up as an army brat and I also had to deal with my father suffering from a massive brain bleed. When I was reading the book, I really wanted to say, wait a minute think of how the kids feel. It really got me started thinking about a young adult book I had worked on myself years ago. When your parent goes off to war, it disrupts your entire life. There is the worry, the family unit just isn't whole, and tension. As a teenager you just keep thinking that once they return home everything will be back to normal. I am sure there are a lot of teens out there who have it harder than I did and the teenage years are not easy for anyone. But when a parent who goes off to war the one thread of hope that I held onto was that once he got back everything would be like a fairytale. And they were that way for a little while. Then my father had a massive brain bleed which was very hard because he was a very intelligent and strong man. What was worse was watching his frustration with himself. I thought it was so cruel for him to be trapped in this body that did not work the same and for him to realize it. But at the same time as often happens someone is so critical of their own family more so than they would ever be as a stranger. It is hard not to be angry at your parent for not just "getting on with life". Why couldn't he be happy he was alive? Why couldn't he find a different job that he could do? Why couldn't he just want to be with us? As anyone knows, after a traumatic brain injury the person is never the same. And we expect our parents to never change, at least as a kid. I've learned to see my father as a person though and not just a father. It is funny how my own kids see me just as a Mom. I'm not supposed to have any other life. Even my work is tied to being a Mom so that I can provide for them. Children want us to always be there and have nothing before them or after them. It changes through time, but still it is like we expect our parents to be that one constant in the world. As my son said when my husband and I went out on a date, "Why are you trying to ditch us?".